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Author Topic: Texas Logic
pato
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Member # 1758

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Two South Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite
bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired
of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go
to the community college and sign up for some classes."
Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.
The next day Jim goes down to the college and meets the dean of
admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: math,
English, history, and logic.
"Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?"
The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weedeater?"
"Yeah."
"Then logically because you own a weedeater, I think that you would
have a yard."
"That's true, I do have a yard."
"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think
logically that you would have a house."
"Yes, I do have a house."
"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have
a family."
"I have a family."
"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must
have a wife."
"Yes, I do have a wife."
"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual."
"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all
of that because I have a weedeater."
Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the dean's hand and leaves
to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is
signed up for math, English, history, and logic.
"Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?"
Jim says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weedeater?"
"No."
"Then you're a queer."

--------------------
En la vida se presentan dos o tres ocasiones para ser heroe, pero casi todos los dias se presentan la ocasion para no ser cobarde"

Posts: 4440 | From: San Antonio, Texas, USA | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
SatCong
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I gotta get me a weedeater..
SatCong

Posts: 724 | From: Twangtown | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
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Dirty Old Man
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But ya would still be a flaming faggot.


The Retired One

Posts: 12979 | From: Hoosier State | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged
pato
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Ya know RB, once in a while you could take a break.

pato

--------------------
En la vida se presentan dos o tres ocasiones para ser heroe, pero casi todos los dias se presentan la ocasion para no ser cobarde"

Posts: 4440 | From: San Antonio, Texas, USA | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
SatCong
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Aw, let the mean spirited, big talker, snort! He knows how the lonely need a "special" kind of attention...
SatCong

Posts: 724 | From: Twangtown | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wyrm
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quote:
Originally posted by pato:
Ya know RB, once in a while you could take a break.

pato

Think about who you're talking to there, Pato.
[Big Grin]

--------------------
Rocco: Fucking... What the fuck. Who the fuck fucked this fucking... How did you two fucking fucks... FUCK.

Connor: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.

Posts: 945 | From: Get your own damn rock | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
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Dirty Old Man
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Wyrm,

Perhaps if you explained to him what my nic means, he might, just possibly might, figure it out all by himself. But then, he is a Texas LEO and that has to be taken into consideration.


The Retired One - think about it -

Posts: 12979 | From: Hoosier State | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged
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Dirty Old Man
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ShatCong,

You don't need a weedeater. What you need is a weedwhacker. That should get ya off.


The Retired One

Posts: 12979 | From: Hoosier State | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged
pato
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Tell me, RB, what does being a Texas LEO have to do with anything?
What is your extensive experience with Texas LEO's?

Sat isn't gunkid, he isn't Tewwy Wee, Mick, or any of the others that have come here just to stir up trouble.

After reading your response in the "safe deposit box" thread, why am I not surprised?

If you really are as opinionated and as gruff as you appear here, you must be a real joy to hang out with.

pato

--------------------
En la vida se presentan dos o tres ocasiones para ser heroe, pero casi todos los dias se presentan la ocasion para no ser cobarde"

Posts: 4440 | From: San Antonio, Texas, USA | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
SatCong
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Actually, what I will require, sir, is a
bush-hog...
SatCong

Posts: 724 | From: Twangtown | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Talon
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quote:
Originally posted by SatCong:
Actually, what I will require, sir, is a
bush-hog...
SatCong

You have a hair pie? [Eek!]

--------------------
Looney said on 1/24/2006:
"We have already established your a retard now take your meds and button it shit pickle."

Posts: 2400 | From: Midwest | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
looney
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I have no idea what you fuckers are on about.

--------------------
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Posts: 1580 | From: U.K. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
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Dirty Old Man
Member # 554

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pato,

Opinionated? Yep, that is an accurate description of me. I speak my mind and if it pisses off other people, too bad.

Gruff? Sometimes. And sometimes I'm just as nice a person as you will ever meet. It depends on whom I'm dealing with.

As to my crack about Texas LEO's. I was just taking a dig at ya. But I have had experience with Texas LEO's while serving my last year of military duty. I was stationed in the "poor" part of Texas. San Angelo to be precise. The average copper back then (70-71) was doing good if he had a high school diploma and all of his teeth. These officers loved to fuck with GI's from the base. Go two MPH over the speed limit and it got you a heavy fine. Spit on the sidewalk and you got a citation and a fine. They saw the military as a way to earn revenue for the city and county. But when there was talk that the base was gonna close due to the severe drought, the local politico's including the cops started crying the blues. I was glad to finish up my tour and take my honorable discharge and get the fuck out of there.


The Retired One

Posts: 12979 | From: Hoosier State | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged
Talon
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quote:
Originally posted by looney:
I have no idea what you fuckers are on about.

This link is NSFW but should give you a clue.

http://tinyurl.com/8xxns

--------------------
Looney said on 1/24/2006:
"We have already established your a retard now take your meds and button it shit pickle."

Posts: 2400 | From: Midwest | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
   

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